Why Can't I Be Like That
by Because I Can and Will
Summary: Jack wants to be like Barbosa, and Barbosa wants to be like Jack. Can they make each other finally accept who they are? Rating has moved up to T. Sorry everyone, I uploaded chapter 1 twice accidentally, but now its fixed.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The characters should pray for their good fortune.

Title: Why Can't I Be Like That

Summary: Jack wants to be like Barbosa, and Barbosa wants to be like Jack. Can they make each other finally accept who they are?

The first chapter will be told from Jack's POV and the second from Barbosa's. There will only be two chapters

~[~

Jack Sparrow has often been considered the man who couldn't die. No matter how many tried to send him to his untimely demise no one could succeed. They cursed their luck and wondered what Jack had that always seemed to tip the odds in his favor. Could it be his cunning, intellect, or charm that always lead to his near impossible escapes.

He was the most devious pirate who ever sailed according to some, mostly those who had fallen for one of his tricks, and who were looking for a good excuse. However, the tales of the chaos he caused spread far and wide, and were often found in common folktales and books about pirates.

Of course, he was also quite possibly the most intelligent pirate ever to sail the seas. He was easily capable of confusing even the smartest men with his chatter and tricking them to give him his way, after convincing them there was no other possible options. He also knew words that clearly showed that he had some form of education, because honestly, how many pirates knew what the word superfluous meant; let alone how to correctly use it in a sentence.

Women all across the ports around the world remembered his flirtatious smile, and smooth voice that melted them to his will. Capable of charming even the most difficult wenches, like Elizabeth Swann, had its perks. People often if it was purely charm, or if his looks gave him an advantage with women. After all, he was more inviting than intimidating.

Still, after pondering all this Jack still felt a sense of melancholy. He was sitting on the Pearl looking up at the moon as it cast its light over the sea and his ship illuminating the night sky. It was so bright candles weren't even necessary. The pale moonlight had bathed the entire ship in a pale eerie glow that suited his mood. He took a quick swig of his rum eyes never leaving the moonlit ocean. He was sitting on a crate near the wheel overlooking the side. He rested his head on his knee, and interlaced his hands around his leg. His other leg rested comfortably on the deck. His eyes conveyed his sadness, but no one was around to witness, so he didn't care that his vulnerability was showing.

He was mulling over all the things in his life he wished he had done differently. His thoughts were drifting to the times he had done the right thing, or something merciful. Thinking over the true definition of being a pirate, a blood thirsty killer. Absently he wondered why he couldn't be like that, and why he was cursed with a conscience. No matter how many times he tried to ignore it, it plagued him. It would always leave him behind the true pirates, ones who people feared and were respected for it.

These thoughts were not uncommon for him, and occurred often, usually when he sitting alone at night thinking. They were rooted deep in his inner turmoil. He always tried to clear them away with thoughts of his own legacy, but he always felt even that could be better. He always thought that Jack the Blood Thirsty Killer, was a better title than Jack the Amazing Escape Artist. Even with all the perks of being him, the thought of being someone who could slam their fist down and demand something, receiving it instantly, seemed better. Instead he demanded and people lazily cooperated.

These unwelcome and distressing thoughts took an even tighter hold shortly after he had taken back his ship. The ship had a fearsome reputation, but he realized that he wasn't responsible for that, Barbosa was. Now he wasn't one to enjoy feasting off the hard work of others, or stealing credit, but this deeply disturbed him. He knew that the ships scary reputation wouldn't last because he couldn't uphold it. He wasn't the man Barbosa was. He wasn't cruel or malicious. He didn't kidnap or kill people on a whim. It wasn't his style, but it was Barbosa's and every other heavily feared and blood thirsty pirate. That bothered him the most; the fact that he couldn't even uphold his dream, because he was too soft.

In truth, it would be hard for him to achieve the reputation he desired. His conscience of course would get in the way, but there were other factors. He wasn't very tall, and actually considered short. Also, he was small and not very well built. He had some muscle, enough to do his job, but not enough to intimidate someone. His small frame was great for sneaking around, but not for protecting himself. Many times while sneaking around or walking though an unfamiliar area he was seized and manhandled. He tried to get away, but wasn't strong enough to break free. The worst though, was when he was captured. The bigger and burlier men took pleasure in making him struggle, and abusing him. He shivered thinking about it.

He thought about all the things he could have done to gain him a better reputation. When he had his pistol against Elizabeth's head and his shackles around her neck he could have easily killed her. After that, the duel with Will the first time in which could have easily killed him, but no he had even asked him nicely to move. Then, he could have raped Elizabeth when they were on the island together. He was easily stronger than her and it would have been easy. Of course, there had been the time he and Barbosa struck a deal which would have eliminated all aboard the Dauntless and given him and Barbosa command of two ships. He could have easily served under Barbosa for a while and then mutinied him as revenge. He didn't think it would have been that hard to gain the trust of the crew and perform such a task. He was sure if he tried harder he could of outmatched Norrington and Will and killed them over the fight for the key. He had saved Will's life by making him Captain of the Dutchman, instead of stabbing the heart himself and gaining immortality. All things he could have done, but didn't, because of his bloody conscience.

He sighed miserably. His ears picked up the sound of approaching footsteps, so he looked in the direction of the sound without turning his head. He looked away when he realized it was the person who he envied most at the moment, Barbosa. Barbosa walked past Jack and leaned on the railing admiring the ocean. Jack sensed Barbaosa knew he was miserable by the side glances the man was giving him. He hoped he had managed to hide the vulnerability he knew he was showing earlier.

"Lovely night isn't it." Barbosa stated in his draw like voice.

"Yes, not a cloud in the sky and a nice temperature to boot." Jack tried to seem friendly, but he still sad and resentful and it showed in his voice. His body position hadn't change.

Barbosa looked put out by Jack's tone. "What's wrong lad?" The question was asked gently enough, but Jack still curled into himself more.

Sighing Jack answered. "I wish I wasn't so soft. I wish I could do the same things you do. I don't have the physical strength to take down enemies with purely that alone. I can't intimidate someone that easily. People take advantage of meself way too easily. Also, I have a conscience that I hate, but can't get rid of. So, I could never live up to the real expectations of a pirate." He didn't look Barbosa in the eye, choosing instead to stare at the calm ocean waters.

"Is this about that incident that happened eleven years ago 'cause that wasn' 'ur fault…." Barbosa began.

"No!" Jack yelled cutting him off. "But thanks for reminding me of that." Jack spoke dryly. He was even more upset now and shivered a bit.

Barbosa wore a thoughtful look for a second and then said "So, you think that being a pirate means being brutal do ye'. Well your considered one, and ye' are doing just fine. 'ur just different, always 'ave been."

"Yes, but when people are remembering great pirates' years from now I won't be one of 'um." Jack's gaze shifted to the deck and his eyes held the hurt they had earlier.

"People will remember ye' not 'cause ye' were some bloody thirsty killer, but 'cause ye' weren't. People will want to tell stories about ye' 'cause they are adventurous, not bloody. They can tell their children tales of a great pirate, and they grow up thinkin' 'bout piracy like some romantic fairytale. They won't want 'em to know how it truly was. The reason ye' get people ta' believe ye' so easily is 'cause people don't wanna see the truth." Barbosa had shocked Jack with his insightful little speech. He had never known the man was so observant. However, it was true.

"Hmmm…. Maybe your right." Jack thought and a glimmer of hope began to shine through.

~[~

So plausible enough? Reviews appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The characters should pray for their good fortune.

Title: Why Can't I Be Like That

Summary: Jack wants to be like Barbosa, and Barbosa wants to be like Jack. Can they make each other finally accept who they are?

Rating has changed from this chapter. Also this is the last chapter.

~[~

Barbosa was often considered a cut-throat pirate, and anyone who had ever saw him would never forget it, if they lived long enough. He had no problem executing or torturing people. Usually when word spread that he was in town windows and doors were shut, locked, and bolted, while the residents hid in their closets. Everyone feared his brutality, skill, and status.

The tales that spread about the Black Pearl during the time that the crew and captain were cursed were proof of Barbosa's cruelty. There were almost always no survivors' and those that did survive were scarred for life. He sank many ships and watched as the survivors swam around helplessly in the water, dying from injuries sustained during the fight, or the sharks who hungrily chewed on the easy meal. He was notorious for his cruel treatment of prisoners, especially those of the navy.

It was well-known that he was a skilled fighter, dispatching many men in battle. They died many different ways, and it seemed he was not obliged to give them an easy or quick death. A few lucky ones were pierced through the heart, while the unlucky lot lost limbs or were injured and left to slowly die. His crew was not much better, for they feared turning soft, and being punished like Jack Sparrow.

All around word had spread of Captain Barbosa and his brutal crew. Many avoided the talking about him, for they believed it was a bad omen. Even his loyal crew had dared not mention his name without the title, even in casual conversation. His status as captain had automatically put him a step above them, and they not dare question it.

Still, Barbosa was unhappy at the legacy he had created for himself. He was currently residing in the Captain's cabin of the Pearl mapping out his next destination. The candle light was barely illuminating the room. He had all his maps and charts splayed out as he hunched over them to see the finer details on the maps. The chair he was sitting in was hard and his back was beginning to cramp from leaning over so long. He was finding it hard to concentrate at all.

His mind was roaming over his life and what he had achieved. He knew he should be happy at the reputation he had managed to carve out, but he wasn't. Men quaked in fear at the mention of his name, and merchants always prayed that he steer of them to ensure them a safe voyage. Even his own crew jumped whenever he walked into the room. The only person who dared stand against him was that cocky little bastard, Jack Sparrow. Yet that's exactly who he wished he could be.

To Barbosa, Jack had everything any man could wish for. He had the charm that everyone inevitably fell for. The wenches in Tortuga practically fell into his lap. He could go to any tavern, and not only did most of them recognize him, but they all competed for his attention. Even Elizabeth had questioned her loyalty to Will for a while after his attempts to seduce her. Barbosa deeply wished that he could get one to come near him, let alone have all the benefits Jack had. The wenches were so terrified of him they usually tried to hide when he and his crew showed up. It disappointed him immensely, and he found his needs were hardly ever taken care of.

Also, Jack found his way out of situations that were dire to anyone else. Somehow he always had a plan, and just enough luck to see it through, no matter how ridiculous it was. Barbosa knew that if he was ever caught by the navy or anyone else, that he would never be able to escape. He didn't have the knowledge or luck to execute an escape plan by himself. He had always left that up to Jack. He relied on his reputation to keep the thoughts of pursing him out of people's minds.

Another thing Barbosa wished he could have was a friend. Jack did betray his friends on occasion, and made many enemies that way. However, he did have a few good ones who he could confide in and who would help him out of his sticky situations. Gibbs, was one friend who Jack seemed to have a special relationship with, because Gibbs could get Jack to tell the truth, even when he didn't want to. Gibbs also protected Jack when he was in trouble, like when he came back to rescue him from the hangman's noose, and when Jack, Will, Elizabeth, and Barbosa all had guns drawn ready to shoot each other. Gibbs had taken Jack's side and kept a gun on Barbosa the entire time, even though he wasn't involved in the conflict.

Jack did feel compassion for others, even though he tried to hide it. Barbosa almost wished that he could have a connection with another person. However, his reputation, and need to intimidate those around him to keep them in line prevented it. He had to remain rigid when in reality all he wanted was to let go and be happy for a change. He was hardly ever happy, and it was something he desired most.

It made him even bitterer that these thoughts were not occasional. They happened often, even more so when Jack was around. Barbosa would sit by himself alone and think of all the fun Jack had, and all things he wished he could do but couldn't. It was suffocating and made him resentful of himself, which in turn made him meaner, thus distancing himself father from the life he wished he could live. It was a vicious cycle.

In truth, it would be hard for Barbosa to be like Jack though. He hardly ever thought before he acted, and so his movements were sloppy and uncoordinated compared to the swift, sure movements Jack made. Also, he was nowhere near as intelligent, and had never even been to school as a child. He was taught the basics by his parents, but nothing more. Of course, his physical being was completely different too. He was taller and more muscular than Jack and so sneaking around and performing the same stunts would be nearly impossible.

He did remember one time when he had tried to reach out and help someone. The Pearl had been captured by another pirate crew when Jack was captain before the mutiny. The crew was locked down in the brig on the lowest deck. However there was another cell on the floor up from the last. That was the cell that Jack and Barbosa were placed in. The captain it seemed wanted to keep the Pearl so he had two ships. Jack was being mouthy the entire time, which didn't bode well with the captain or his crew. He was taken to the captain's cabin so he and the captain could have a little chat, as it was said. Barbosa remembered waiting in the cell by himself for what seemed like an eternity. He half expected Jack's lifeless body to be thrown overboard and never spoke of again, but he was returned. However, seeing the man dragged back to the cell and thrown in the corner where he curled up into a ball was not something he expected. He looked him over and saw that he looked awful. Then small sobs began to emerge from Jack's corner, and his body started to shake. Barbosa crawled over the corner and tried to comfort Jack the best he could. He tried to figure out what was wrong, but got no answer. Finally, he just pulled Jack into his lap and let him cry into his chest, while rubbing small circles on his back. Finally Jack fell asleep. The next day Jack came up with an escape plan and everyone was back on the Pearl watching the other ship sink, gone forever, along with the captain and what was left of the crew who were tied the mast awaiting their fate.

He did notice something was off about Jack after that. He seemed more vulnerable, though he tried to act the opposite. He also seemed like he was in pain. Barbosa had told him to go rest after the other ship was completely submerged underwater, but made sure the crew didn't notice. He tried to be a little nicer and helped Jack out more too. He didn't need to be told what happened, because he was sure he already knew. That was the one time he could remember being proud of himself for something he did.

Then he remembered the mutiny, and the utter look of betrayal on Jack's face. Bitterly he thought about how he had robbed himself of his the one possible friendship he had.

He decided to clear his head by going for a walk. After all, he wasn't getting work done in here, and he wasn't tired. He walked around on deck for a bit admiring the moonlight. The moon sure was bright tonight. So bright in fact, that it seemed like white sunlight. He walked up the stairs, and upon reaching the top saw Jack sitting on a crate drinking, by himself.

He noticed the sad look Jack wore, and the tension rising between them. He decided to break the silence between them. "Lovely night isn't it."

"Yes, not a cloud in the sky and a nice temperature to boot." Jack told him. Barbosa could sense the weak act from him though, and could tell he was quite miserable, despite the half heated attempt to seem interested. It still made him feel put out however. After all, it wasn't like he was the cause for Jack's depression.

"What's wrong lad?" Barbosa tried to be nice. Seeing how miserable Jack was made him realize that he needed to use a different approach.

Sighing Jack answered. "I wish I wasn't so soft. I wish I could do the same things you do. I don't have the physical strength to take down enemies with purely that alone. I can't intimidate someone that easily. People take advantage of meself way too easily. Also, I have a conscience that I hate, but can't get rid of. So, I could never live up to the real expectations of a pirate." Barbosa noticed he wouldn't make eye contact and made no move to get up either, but instead directed his gaze to the ocean. This was troubling to him.

Then he suddenly thought about the incident that had come to his mind earlier, and wondered if that could be the problem. So he said "Is this about that incident that happened eleven years ago 'cause that wasn' 'ur fault…."

However Jack cut him off by yelling "No!" Barbosa abruptly stopped and listened. "But thanks for reminding me of that." Now he knew that he probably should not have mentioned that since it was still a sore spot and would more than likely always be one.

However, Jack's speech did make him realize something he thought suddenly. It wasn't all fun and games having Jack's life. It was possibly harder and more stressful than Barbosa's and he wondered if that's why Jack drank all the time, to escape reality. Suddenly he felt better about himself, and felt better in his own skin.

Jack did say something about a definition to piracy though, and it wasn't as cut and dry as it seemed to be. Barbosa decided to correct his thinking. "So, you think that being a pirate means being brutal do ye'. Well your considered one, and ye' are doing just fine. 'ur just different, always 'ave been."

"Yes, but when people are remembering great pirates' years from now I won't be one of 'um." Apparently that hadn't worked so it was time to try something else now.

"People will remember ye' not 'cause ye' were some bloody thirsty killer, but 'cause ye' weren't. People will want to tell stories about ye' 'cause they are adventurous, not bloody. They can tell their children tales of a great pirate, and they grow up thinkin' 'bout piracy like some romantic fairytale. They won't want 'em to know how it truly was. The reason ye' get people ta' believe ye' so easily is 'cause people don't wanna see the truth." Barbosa watched carefully this time and noticed Jack seemed to take that in much better. He was satisfied that he had finally gotten though that thick skull.

"Hmmm…. Maybe your right." Jack smiled and it made Barbosa happy too. He finally felt like some strange tension was relived between them that night, and that things would get better from here on out, so he smiled too.

~[~

That's all. So what did you think?


End file.
